Whatever Happened to Baby Carly?

Carly Fiorina was not dumped from hp because she was a woman. She got dumped, ultimately, because of her total failure to understand engineers within an engineering company. Again, not because she had a man's attitude, but because she walked in, guns blazing, with thinly veiled irritation towards the unfortunately-necessary "engineers" one simply must tolerate when one is CEO of an engineering company. (Reminds one of Healthcare Hillary, before she became imminently successful Senator Clinton... totally did not understand the cloakroom.)

Carly wasn't a bad CEO, either. Her decision to push for the Compaq merger was most likely one to build those "quick wins" that marketing people love to use to create InstaCred -- instant credibility -- with one's coworkers. Why? Because marketing people build their credibility by delivering successes. (Most professions require this, but some professions don't require a public peacock dance. In some, you just build something amazing. But in marketing, you have to *sell* something amazing. And your first sell is to your own team.)

Delivering one right away is a good gamble; either you look fantastic, or you look idiotic, but either way you look Decisive, which is critical if you're a marketing person. You look like you Know How to Get Things Done. A good marketer's epitaph would read something like, "Joe Walsh, 1955-2006. Got Things Done." This is why they are called Rainmakers: they stomp around in the dirt and Make Rain. It's an act of magic, and it all begins with being able to create something from nothing. If you're going to create something from sheer force of will, it's very helpful to convince the people you work with how much of a tidal wave your force of will can produce. Why? Simply put, if they believe in you, Making Rain is lots easier, because they help sell your reputation to others. In addition, people who believe in you are more likely to forgive you if you royally screw up. If you sort of pussy-foot around, they'll fill the void called What They Don't Know About You with hemming, hawing, and Inaction. If you're a marketer, you definitely don't want What People Think They Know About You to be titled, "Inactive."

When they think of you, you them to think of you as a firm, decisive, go-getter who makes rain and is a force to be reckoned with. Of course, the greatest way in the world to do this is stride forward confidently, making deals and Being Effective.

We have all known those particular individuals who, once entrusted with power, stomp around on expensive heels, clenching well-pedicured toes and frightening everyone in sight, simply to remind everyone that They Are Powerful. I recall walking through our immaculately painted and very tastefully lit office one day on my way to a meeting and nearly being run over by a junior staffmate who was flying through, hair and papers streaming. She whispered frantically as she all-but-flew by, "She's on the stomp!"

I immediately dove for the nearest cubicle and looked for something important to work on. Then I turned so my back was to the opening, realizing that I had worn no lipstick, no eyeshadow, nor even any hair goop today. I was sure to be the victim of a scathing dress-down at the Boss' lunch out today if she saw me. Then I heard it -- the tell-tale heels. She was stomping across the room at top speed. My heart stopped but I knew if I just kept my head down and didn't let her see me, she'd cruise right by and find some other poor soul to torment. Ack, why hadn't I thought to at least sit down? No, I was hunched unbecomingly over a proposal. My back was starting to hurt. This could really suck if she decided to stand there much longer. I wondered if I could slide into my seat without my head popping up over the half wall?

I listened hard for voices, remembering to sift paper every now and then, for a few minutes, and then the heels stomped on. I sighed, straightened up, and headed back to my cube.